We all have goals, but at least some of the difference in achieving those goals comes down to how you frame them.
In a study published in PLOS One, the researchers separated participants’ goals into two basic categories:
- Avoidance goals: stopping or preventing an undesired behavior.
“Stop ignoring interpersonal issues between employees.” So is “stop putting off important tasks.” So is “stop watching so much TV.” So is anything you want, or wish, to stop doing or do less often. - Approach goals: adopting a new behavior. “Complete the most important task on my to-do list every day.” So is “Compliment at least one employee every day.” So is “Eat at least one serving of vegetables at lunch and dinner.”
Why does the difference matter? Compared with people who set avoidance goals, people who set approach goals were significantly more likely to stay the course.
Partly that’s because it’s more satisfying to do something you want to do than to avoid something you don’t want to do. For example, for decades I drank a ton of Diet Mountain Dew. When I finally decided I wanted to drink less soda, I set an approach goal: Instead of setting a goal like “Stop drinking Diet Mountain Dew in the morning,” my goal was “Drink water with my protein bar and banana for breakfast.”
Later, I extended my water rule to lunch, and dinner, and snacks. The result, of course, was drinking less Diet Mountain Dew. But I wasn’t avoiding soda; I was “approaching” water.
The same can be true for any habit you want to change. If you tend to avoid getting involved in interpersonal disputes between employees, don’t say you’ll stop ignoring interpersonal issues. Make it your goal to build a better sense of camaraderie and teamwork, and choose activities or behaviors that support your goal.
Maybe you’ll spend a little time each day working in the department where two employees aren’t getting along. Maybe you’ll create situations where people can work together on something positive: A boss of mine once assigned me and an employee I was feuding with to a project with a potentially significant reward, and in the process we quickly ironed out our differences.
Just about every avoidance goal can be turned into an approach goal; simply determine the positive behavior or habit that you want to have replace what you want to stop doing, and focus on doing that.
If you want to watch less TV, make it your goal to read 20 pages every evening. If you want to spend less time in your office, make it your goal to walk the shop or office floor first thing in the morning. If you want to spend less time on social media, start an activity that makes it hard to engage. (If your goal is to take a walk every night with a partner or friend, and you leave your phones behind, voilà: more actual social time, much less social media.)
If you want to stop doing one thing, or do less of it, choose another thing you want or need to do, and make doing that your goal: Do (this), and you’ll naturally have less opportunity to do (that).
That’s the beauty of approach goals. Stopping a habit is easier when you don’t have as much time or opportunity to engage in that habit.
Besides: It’s a lot more fun to start doing something you really want to do than it is to try to stop doing something you’ve decided you shouldn’t.
—Jeff Haden
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